/soc/ - Worst Board on the Internet

From moot himself: I’ve never met someone from /soc/....

Fri, 10 Aug 2012 21:38:30 +0800

From moot himself:

I’ve never met someone from /soc/. Actually, I got milkshakes with 3 dudes, but that’s it. The board should have been named “Camwhore” but I didn’t want a board named that. Stop ignoring every single announcement and rule I’ve ever made for the board.

Okay, guys, that’s pretty much it.

I’m closing Worst Board.

Love you all and see you guys somewhere else,
—Ed

schaka replied to your quote: Actually, I’ve been thinking about it, and… /soc/ having no...

Fri, 10 Aug 2012 09:54:09 +0800

schaka replied to your quote: Actually, I’ve been thinking about it, and…

/soc/ having no board culture? Yeah not anymore since moot banned the actual SOCIAL aspect of the board by removing names.

WAHHHWAHHHHHHWAHHHHHHWAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Seriously though moot stop treating us like we’re a concentration camp.

gamergirl1337 replied to your quote: “Actually, I’ve been thinking about it, and… That would...

Thu, 09 Aug 2012 14:39:43 +0800

gamergirl1337 replied to your quote: “Actually, I’ve been thinking about it, and…

That would be true if it weren’t for moot trying his damnedest to completely crush any sort of board culture. It’s true only because it’s been forced to shape that way.

This.

Also, far too many people pull the whole “yeah, but moot made /soc/ because he wanted the cancerous shit off /b/”, but consider the fact that hookup threads et al still exist on /b/ — admittedly for only brief spells before either getting lost or deleted — and that /b/ has always, always, always been shit.

/soc/ has been persecuted — I killed myself inside before using that word — from day one both by moot and by other boards in spite of the fact that the board and its users are sticking to the name and mandate given to the board: being social. (Yes, dick rate threads are, perversely enough, still about being social.) We here at Worst Board would like to argue that /soc/ spends more time being social than /lit/ spends time reading books or /vg/ spends time playing games.

"Actually, I’ve been thinking about it, and creating /soc/ was actually a massive stroke of..."

Thu, 09 Aug 2012 14:24:00 +0800

“

Actually, I’ve been thinking about it, and creating /soc/ was actually a massive stroke of genius on moot’s part. The definition of what is cancer is amorphous and has shifted over time.

However, if we divide /b/ into two categories, consumptive versus creative, then it is very clear why /soc/ was created. /soc/ has been around for roughly 18 months but has a) no intrinsic memes b) no “board consciousness” and c) is deeply divided. This should be expected: the threads that /soc/ was created for (camwhore, rate, meet-up) aren’t designed to generate memes or creative content. To the contrary, they’re designed to consume users. /soc/ as a board is largely predicated on a constant influx of new visitors that can be consumed: new camwhores, new contactfags, new personalities. It’s not creative, it’s consumptive.

”

- QBERTON, 4CHAN (THE INTERNET) — A poster on the new /q/ - 4chan discussion board gives an interesting perspective on what makes /soc/ so shit during a thread which namechecks, of all things, Worst Board.

Creation vs Consumption is an intriguing topic…

/soc/ turns 18 — Ultimate Whore Slag Bitch Cunt Delicious Firebush Puddems Sells Body For Money, Breaks e-Boyfriend Ed's Heart

Wed, 08 Aug 2012 10:59:23 +0800

SKYPESVILLE, THE INTERNET — Darling dove, pudding pop, soulmate, and sweet little girl turned whoremobile cuntface slagtits teenyboppertramp gingervag infection-o-maker Puddems is now selling her lithe teenage body in the most heinous and sinful ways, reported Worst Board editor and ex-boyfriend Ed on Friday.

The disgusting whore declared her interest to cam for money in a Friday SMA thread she posted in.

She is known to drop in and out of SMA threads, causing mass neckbeard masturbation frenzies in one post.

In an exclusive interview with Worst Board, Puddems revealed that in the first day of her camming she performed an estimated fifteen shows from 11pm to 6am, making several hundred dollars and letting approximately 1.5 trillion sperm die agonizing tissue deaths over the seven hour period. The International Criminal Court responded to Worst Board reporters saying, “We’re still investigating if this is tantamount to genocide charges. But this is incredibly unprecedented — you can quote us on that.”

Sources state that Puddems charges by the minute, negotiating payment and camshow length before beginning the Skype videochat. She acknowledged that her operation was strictly independent.

An SMA contemporary of the firecrotched slag, speaking off the record, said that Puddems’ rate was similar to what she charged when she had briefly dabbled in paid camwhoring.

Puddems, 18, is perhaps the most famous camwhore in the world, with a fame that transcends /soc/ and 4chan entirely. A recent July study by the Copenhagen-based Worst Board Institute for Curated Masturbation Studies (I-CuMS) estimated that up to nine hundred million people have masturbated to Puddems.

Notable for her acrid and painfully staged e-personality, Puddems had previously been in a semi-public relationship between 2003 to 2012 with the stunningly handsome Worst Board editor Ed, who she had called ‘Daddy’, breaking up with him sporadically only when she felt the need to anally copulate with various household objects.

Heartbreakingly, the Skype account she uses to commit these horrible sins was the Skype account created by Ed for the purposes of their bad romance. Cryfapping will commence in 3… 2… 1… premature ejaculation!

So, I'll admit to posting on /soc/ and enjoying it...but this is actually a hilarious and accurate blog. Kudos to you for documenting the faggotry that abounds on /soc/!

Tue, 07 Aug 2012 14:26:41 +0800

Love,
—Ed.

/soc/ turns 18 — The Sordid Sexy True History of Social Board Camwhoring (Part I)

Tue, 07 Aug 2012 13:30:05 +0800

They come from most of the Canadian provinces and the majority of American states; from points south in Mexico, Brazil and Argentina; across the Atlantic from unconfirmed reports in South Africa, Egypt and Israel; rumors, as well, from Japan and the Philippines before doubling back to Europe: the British Isles, France, Spain and Portugal, Italy, Germany, Poland, the Czech Republic, Scandinavia and countless places elsewhere.

They are insouciant and prolix teenagers, disaffected and lonely twentysomethings, and if you believe the stories, married and divorced mothers and fathers: they are an innumerable and disparate group. They are camwhores.

/soc/, as it stands, is roughly eighteen months old. In those eighteen months, untold thousands of people, men, women and transgender, have shed their clothes. Despite those numbers and the large role that camwhoring has played in the development of culture (if it can so be called), history (if there is any), and identity (if it has one) of the board, precious little has been written on the subject.

This undertaking by and large is designed to preserve the cultural artifacts, and was borne out of the morbid curiosity over what has been written. However, I do not wish to simply be constrained by historiography — tracing the history of /soc/-camwhoring is a bit like tracing the history of spoken language: we know it’s been around for a long time and have seen it develop and change over that span, but we have little to no idea from whence it came and how it began.

Rather, there are questions that were never asked that should have been asked and explored.

Why are there almost no famous male camwhores?

What is the obsession with traps?

What, if any, morals govern underage camwhores?

Camwhoring, despite having provided a hefty percentage of threads on /soc/, has simply been glossed over or disregarded as unworthy of discourse. Beyond that, there are where-are-they-now stories: camwhores who are shrouded in equal parts mystery, half-truths, and outright lies. Some of the most famous names have simply up and vanished, thus cementing the reputation of the camwhore threads as dark and seedy speakeasies where fame is fleeting and flesh is flaunted in front of a feverish and increasingly factious flock of gawkers. Nevertheless, from the metaphorical and literal low point of camwhoring on /soc/, the foot threads, onto the fringe threads for husky men and traps, through to the Big Three of SMA, Chubby and Big Girl Thread, and all points in between, this is the story of camwhoring on /soc/.

—
Guest editor IG is a scholar, gentleman, and Nobel Peace Prize-winning author of Camwhoring For Cash?: A Sugar Daddy’s Guide To Not Getting Ripped Off By Crazy New Jersey Bitches. He lives and breathes on the Internet. In his spare time he meticulously dissects culture (if it can so be called), history (if there is any), and identity (if it has one) on the Social board of 4chan.

/soc/ turns 18 — fuckyoumoot.jpg

Tue, 07 Aug 2012 08:22:05 +0800

/soc/ turns 18 — fuckyoumoot.jpg

/SOC/ IS LEGAL!

Mon, 06 Aug 2012 10:42:41 +0800

18 months, that is.

But we here at Worst Board figure that if a month on 4chan equates to a year on the real world, then by now /soc/ will have officially turned 18! That means it can do lots of things, like:

Vote
Take naked pictures
Have sex in every state
Change its name (maybe to /faggotry/? or /camwhore/? or /shit/? —Ed)
Open a checking account
Get an adult driver’s license
Get a tattoo/piercing
Be drafted into the military
Enlist in the military
Serve on a jury
File a lawsuit
Be sued
Buy spray paint
Work more hours
Pawn something
Get married
Get divorced
Adopt a child
Be on Jerry Springer
Go on a cruise
Buy a lottery ticket
Get a hotel room
Get a Costco membership
Skydive or go bungee jumping
Sign legal documents/contracts
Gamble
Secure a loan
Finance a car
Buy insurance
Donate blood
Earn credit and check your credit score
Buy porn (as if you would buy porn —Ed)
Buy cigarettes
Be convicted as an adult
Go to adult jail
Work in an alcohol-serving establishment
Apply for a business license
Apply for a credit card
Go to a strip club
Work in a strip club
Enter a contest
Write a check
Get utilities in your name
Lease an apartment or house
Buy a house
Cash a savings bond
Buy nitrous oxide
Rent a post office box
Start a 401K plan

Happy 18th birthday, /soc/!

Our series of /soc/ articles will go live tonight with a State of the Union feature on /soc/ camwhoring by a feature writer!

This popped up on my personal Tumblr dash a few minutes ago....

Thu, 26 Jul 2012 20:13:25 +0800

This popped up on my personal Tumblr dash a few minutes ago. It’s hilarious. Some anon is accusing German sex-shepherd Schaka of harassing KickR, everybody’s least favorite angled dick-stroker. There are perhaps some political concerns here. Schaka is German. KickR is Jewish. World War II 2.0? (World War 4.0?)

No, not quite.

Trufax: Schaka has been caught in a few threads actually whiteknighting KickR, which is something nobody can quite understand. KickR’s nudes have been posted and reposted in nearly every thread he’s in on /soc/ — which, to be fair, you kinda sign up for the moment you get capped and exposed like this yet continue to shamelessly hit on girls while calling out other dudes you’re in competition with.

But KickR has found in him an unlikely defender, Schaka. Is it Holocaust guilt? Or could it be… actual human decency? Nobody wants to be known forever as the guy who jerks off with a paper towel. There are people out there trying to remind KickR of his worst moments, over and over again. I don’t doubt KickR is still camming and creeping around. But would it be too much to give him a break?

vicemag: The Strangely Uplifting Tale of the Cam-Girl with No...

Tue, 24 Jul 2012 01:09:51 +0800

vicemag:

The Strangely Uplifting Tale of the Cam-Girl with No Vagina

I was raised on the same diet of girl-on-girl coprophilia, animal torture, and 24-hour Arabic news channels that every child of generation WWW was, so the internet has to work pretty hard to shock me. But when a friend of mine linked me to this (very NSFW) photo-set at Efukt.com, I was actually taken aback by what I saw.

The girl in the photos calls herself “DamageDolly” and works as a webcam stripper, or “cam-girl.” As I scrolled down the page, not only was a colostomy bag visible, but the model had severe scarring from her navel down to what appeared to be absent genitalia. Farther down the page, a photo showed her with two fresh mastectomy wounds.

Intrigued as to how she’d summoned the confidence to disrobe in front of the cruel, cruel internet, I decided to track her down and find out her story. Her name is Sally and her story is hard to swallow, but it’s kinda logical when you think about it. I guess it’s just not the kind of logic you have to think about very often.

VICE: Hi Sally. Can you tell me more about your condition?
Sally: I suffer from Crohn’s disease and I was 14 when it first started. It’s a digestive disorder and it can affect you anywhere from your nose and mouth to your vagina or anus, and it’s usually something that gives you problems when going to the bathroom and absorbing things into your body. Like nutrients and stuff.

What was your first procedure?
I had the first procedure done in 2006. That was a colostomy. They put it in with the hopes of it being temporary, but we all knew it was going to be permanent.

How did it affect your sex life?
My sex life was already greatly impacted because of what I was going through down there. I had my first signs of it when I was a teenager, but when I hit 18, it was just awful.

In what way?
You know where your pelvic bone is? My vagina hung down about that far and it was just like a mass of… I don’t even know. It was like elephantitis of the vagina. It was horrible. It turned out it was Crohn’s and chronic inflammation together. I had to have it all removed.

When was that?
That was 2007. I had it done in two stages. First, I had the colostomy, then the full vulvectomy. Then, in 2008, I had to have a total of six surgeries—two while I was pregnant and four more after.

You have a child?
Yes, he’ll be four in December. I haven’t seen him since March, though. He lives with his father, who was really abusive during our entire relationship. He was a horrible, evil, mean person. We had a kid and we were both on drugs, although I quit when I found out I was pregnant. We were doing a lot of methamphetamine, but I decided that I didn’t want to be sick anymore, so I was trying to stop doing it. I was in the hospital a lot while I was pregnant and I confided in nurses when I was messed up on my pain medicine, and eventually they reported us for domestic violence.

Has it been difficult for you to see your son since then?
Yes. At first I had primary custody, but then due to some mental health issues of my own and then later a relapse, he now has primary custody.

CONTINUE

TUMBLR, THE INTERNET — /soc/’s own Damagedolly is probably the most famous /soc/ camwhore in the world now, after the publication of this Vice feature featuring her and her mysterious lack of a vagina.

It’s true, her story is pretty uplifting.

Kinda miffed that I didn’t get the scoop story on this first! (Dear Damagedolly, if you’re reading this, send me a message.)

Always great to see someone get over a threatening condition and gain a lifetime of people obsessing over your pictures so they can masturbate over you. Much love, Ed.

Why did it take so long for a girl to leak kickr's nudes and which namefag do you think is next?

Mon, 23 Jul 2012 19:16:00 +0800

>why did it take so long for a girl to leak kickr’s nudes
Generally, even with a horndog like KickR, you don’t get into a sexual relationship with him without him gaining leverage on you too. Also, do you really want to be known as “that girl who cams with KickR”?

>which namefag do you think is next
To be outed in this way? The most likely ones are schaka, haunter, rory, r-ant, brit, or myself.

Love,
—Ed.

Breaking News: KICKR'S PENIS GETS LEAKED, MUCH DERISION IS HAD

Fri, 20 Jul 2012 03:30:00 +0800

/soc/ - Here’s the first rule of being a horndog on the internet: the Internet never forgets. And when pics of you jerking off to e-strangers on the Internet get leaked? You’re probably going to have to deal with it for a long fucking time.

Notorious skirtchasing virgin KickR, 23, whose antics include spamming rate threads with his face, pursuing the contact info of every girl on /soc/, and generally having the misfortune of being a boy born of Jewish heritage on the Internet, found himself dealing with this very conundrum when photos of his penis were published on the Social board today.

The unflattering selection of screencaps, recorded from a mobile device, was allegedly distributed to a tinychat room by an ex-playmate of the Israeli creeper.

It has been claimed in the thread that the source of this leak was “some fat Mexican”. Worst Board journalists are still investigating this claim.

One prominent /soc/ penis analyst studied the photographs and asserted that KickR’s dick is estimated at no more than 5.5”, which 10 out of 10 femanons agree can be lumped under the “babby dick” category.

As we all know, to be considered a real man on the Internet, one must have a dick length of 7” or longer. This works much like height requirements at theme parks, except the sign says “YOU MUST BE ^ THIS MUCH OF AN ASPIE TO ARGUE DICKS ONLINE”

KickR has gained a highly unfavorable reputation on the Social board for his constant presence in various threads all day erryday. Known to brag about his alleged exploits with naive and foolish e-girls who should really know better than to be flattered into getting naked, one of the strongest arguments against him stated in the thread was KickR’s propensity for “harassing girls to cam and whining when they don’t want to.”

An SMA camwhore spoke to Worst Board editor prhln saying, “how did it take so long srsly?” We at Worst Board concur: KickR’s actions were no secret on /soc/ — what the fuck took you guys this long, faggots?

Although doxings occasionally occur for femanons, male /soc/ialites rarely feel the wrath of an angry anon mob. The perception that another guy is hogging female attention is perhaps the most believable factor as to why KickR’s fall was so spectacular.

KickR made the bold statement that it would be his last day on /soc/, but we know better — addicts do not leave, for any reason. “On some level he is probably enjoying this,” three separate /soc/ personalities interviewed by Worst Board agreed. Craving attention and validation is a common ailment among /soc/ users. Have you been checked recently for Internet AIDS? If you have ever interacted with KickR, see your physician today.

(The leaked photos of KickR can be viewed at this imgur album.)

Groupies, Groupies Everywhere

Thu, 12 Jul 2012 22:27:00 +0800

Ed: ooh
Ed: i've gotta check your clip out
Ed: when i'm not in a "i want to watch porn" mood though, no offense
r-ant: lol
r-ant: c'mon
r-ant: put me on
r-ant: fap to something else
r-ant: it'll be like i'm encouraging you
r-ant: not gay at all
Ed: i swear to god i'll post this to worst board
r-ant: rofl
r-ant: that's what i need
r-ant: everyone thinking i'm gay for you

>that proud feel when one of ours is on efukt, the big daddy...

Sat, 07 Jul 2012 01:05:04 +0800

>that proud feel when one of ours is on efukt, the big daddy of shit websites.

Daddy’s so proud of you, damagedolly.

Worst board tumblr, Y U WORSE THAN WORST BOARD /soc/?

Wed, 27 Jun 2012 16:46:01 +0800

Worse than /soc/? Have you seen /soc/ lately?

Love,
—Ed.

What happened to Elton? Did she leave because r-ant came back?

Wed, 27 Jun 2012 12:52:03 +0800

Nice try, r-ant. You’re not relevant anymore.

r-ant replied to your post: You seem like someone who spends time on /soc/ and probably knows a...

Tue, 26 Jun 2012 18:20:42 +0800

r-ant replied to your post: You seem like someone who spends time on /soc/ and probably knows a thing or 2. So I would really like to know more about Ferox. As far as I know she’s a semi regular poster from Norway and we are in e-love, at least I am. And she will be once I get her doxxz. Why would you do that? Well for my eternal gratitude ofc.

That was the fake blond with too much eye makeup and a man’s jaw, right?

I literally had never heard of the name up until I got that message.

Dear Ferox: do you have a Tumblr? Do you follow Worst Board? Will you send me nudes? You should.

What if they're underage nudes...

Tue, 26 Jun 2012 16:53:47 +0800

Render unto Moot what belongs to Moot, render unto Ed what belongs to Ed.

(P.S. Braces posts on /soc/ every day and they’re underage nudes.)

You seem like someone who spends time on /soc/ and probably knows a thing or 2. So I would really like to know more about Ferox. As far as I know she's a semi regular poster from Norway and we are in e-love, at least I am. And she will be once I get her doxxz. Why would you do that? Well for my eternal gratitude ofc.

Tue, 26 Jun 2012 12:59:56 +0800

No, don’t dox people. That’s rude.

Love,
—Ed.